Panic

“It’s about now that it starts … I walk the garden and an overwhelming sense of panic seeps into my head – it’s quite simple – the garden will never be ready …. never good enough …

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The alliums are too early, they will be over and done with by the end of may, the annuals won’t be doing their thing – nights are too cold, they are sitting in their pots, roots not developing, the Delphiniums are budding too early, the Lupins are in flower, the Cardoons have already been blown over by the winds, the Deutzia which look fantastic at present will be over, even the Crambe Cordifolia are  producing their  flower spikes too soon … arrgghhhhh.

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I wish people could see some of the early stars … so pleased this year that the Paulownia are in flower – so pretty ..

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New Lamium looks fantastic – the bees love it ! But it will be looking sad by the end of the month .

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The Aquilegia are fantastic this year, but peaking very early …

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A lovely lady who used to buy her Cosmos from me every year once told me she couldn’t bear the stress of gardening … ‘Surely gardening is meant to reduce stress ?’ I said … ‘But you go to bed at night and never know what you will find the next day …” she said … and it’s true … and that can be exciting or disappointing … perhaps it’s the glass full or empty scenario ….

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Will any of the Polemoniums still be in flower ?By May 30th – doubtful …DSC_1029

Veronica definitely won’t be …

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This abutilon will be done … and it is so very beautiful …

I want my garden to be perfect for people, I want them to love it like I do … trouble is it’s out of my hands ! I am subject to weather, creatures and my own capabilities … The first year we opened I fretted over every weed and ‘weakness’, then I realised that my garden is an ‘ordinary’  garden and that if I wanted to enjoy opening it all summer I had to relax a little … it had to be a place people could take ideas from and see as a normal garden not a show piece …. it’s not Hidcote or Hestercombe, it’s an extension of my home, there will be weeds, an imperfect lawn and not everyone will like everything ! I felt reassured when I went to David Austin’s rose garden and saw black spot … does that make me a horrid person ? And sometimes it’s simpley not to someone’s taste !!

Church Cottage is not a ‘neat’ garden …. I overheard a visitor telling his friend he thought it ‘confused’ … I felt insulted !!! But then I realised I could see why he thought that ! I love so many different plants it is sometimes difficult to house them ! I am guilty of buying something I fall in love with, with no idea where I will plant it …. garden designers are meant to start with the hardscaping – I look at a site and see the plants…. A friend once told me that if she could have a wish it would be to have a single different bloom every day … I can identify with that DSC_1040

The garden will be ready … it will !

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